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 The Daily Mail, once Britain’s most popular paper, has been left reeling this month after a series of scandals, culminating in the revelation that senior figures at the paper engaged in bizarre Nazi-themed sexual practices, rocked the paper to its core, and sent advertisers scurrying to its competitors.
Sources close to the paper told AdNation that “staff had a bad feeling about this” and many were speculating that “the end was drawing near” for the tabloid.
After stunning the world with a vindictive hate-piece against beloved Boyzone star Stephen Gateley which almost accused the Irish star of committing bestiality with three Bulgarian students and a goat, the Mail appalled the public again with its anti-BBC bias as it doctored evidence in an attempt to smear the beloved Beeb.
But now shocking revelations about the Nazi fetishes of the paper’s owners and editors have come to light, plunging the Mail deeper into trouble as Britain’s largest brands no longer want to be associated with what some are now calling a “fascist hate-mag... run by rabid fanatics only interested in gratifying their own depraved sexual predilictions”.
Reports of Mail editor Paul Dacre caught pleasuring himself with a Hitler-shaped sex-toy remain unconfirmed.
A member of the paper’s senior management, who asked to remain anonymous, told AdNation: “Revenues are down as much as 50%, and a sense of panic is starting to set in after the Nazi-sex revelations... We’re looking at major lay-offs any day now.
“The worst is yet to come,” he added.
Gosh – doesn’t sound very good for the Daily Mail, does it?
Oh, but no, but wait – that’s all lies, isn’t it? Well, not so much lies, as gross distortions of the truth, mixed with – ok, fine – the odd whopper of an untruth. Just, you know, to spice things up a bit.
The paragraphs above are nothing whatsoever to do with journalism – and yet it’s shit like this that the Daily Mail seems happy to pump out about Dubai, along with pretty much every other bloody paper in the UK over the past year, it seems.
Yesterday the Mail ran what could be one of its most useless articles ever,
on the subject of Dubai’s decline. Not only does it rehash the usual set of unsourced bollocks – abandoned cars, empty flats, cheap debt, etc – the rest of the UK’s press has been recycling since the end of last year (including the Mail itself), but the article manages to be supremely boring.
Really. What’s the point?
What’s the point of spouting 737 words of out-of-date tosh (complete with an out-of-date picture showing the Burj Dubai only half-finished – hey look, it’s an abandoned building site!) if it’s also going to be tedious tosh? Is it only to fill a page? Surely better to bang on about how the EU gives you cancer in that case.
At least some of the other anti-Dubai muck-flinging pieces have been vaguely enteretaining. Not the Mail, though - heaven forbid the paper should actually make its readers crack a smile.
Anyway, here at AdNation we’re frankly sick of this shit – and we say, enough is enough.
We’d like to suggest a new policy for Dubai’s overlords, seeing as the old ones don’t appear to be doing much.
Following the publication of any future let’s-bash-Dubai articles, the emirate should, at its own expense, fly over both the bylined journalist and the commissioning editor, business-class, to the city.
Then on landing, the pair would be greeted at the airport by a senior official, driven out into the desert, and summarily shot.
Then the papers would have something to moan about, at least.
What? What??
At least it’s an idea...
Ok, fine – you come up with something better...
NB – For the record, just in case anyone is unclear, we made up all that stuff about the Daily Mail and Nazi sex fetishes. And the bit about bestiality. But not the bit about smearing the BBC – that’s sadly true.
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