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 First there was New Coke.
Then there was Tropicana.
Now, from the industry that bought you some of the greatest rebranding disasters of all time comes...
iSnack 2.0.
This was the proud name for a new variety of Vegemite, the yeast-extract spread which Australians unaccountably prefer to Marmite [insert required they’re-all-a-bunch-of-criminals gag here].
Vegemite producer Kraft introduced the new-style spread, alongside the original version, earlier in the year, and held a competition to find a name for the new product.
In a horrifying example of When Crowdsourcing Attacks, the name chosen was the almost-unbelievably-awful “iSnack 2.0”, simultaneously combining two of the most clichéd and over-used naming devices of the last few years to produce a name that would probably have been rejected from the writers’ meeting of a satirical talk show for being too stupid.
Kraft announced the new name on Saturday.
On Wednesday – today – it released a statement saying it was pulling the name.
That’s a grand total of four – count ‘em, four – days that iSnack 2.0 (seriously, it just gets worse every time we write it) lasted out in the real world.
Now here in the Middle East, we’re no strangers to naming competitions with disastrous results. But some Australian commentators are getting a whiff of conspiracy about the whole iSnack 2.0 debacle – or, as some are labelling it with tedious inevitability, Vegemitegate.
Seriously, can we cram this story any fuller with clichés?
Anyway, Aussie pro-blog The Punch reveals Vegemite/Kraft actually registered iSnack 2.0 – along with alternative names Snackerific and Crackertime – in Hong Kong fully two weeks before the naming competition ended.
This has sparked speculation that the whole thing may be a set-up, a giant publicity stunt designed to stir up controversy and promote the new spread.
If this is the case, it’s either the most gloriously stupid, or idiotically daring PR stunt the world has seen for some time (or at least since Microsoft launched Windows Vista).
Vegemite/Kraft is having none of it, though, and denies absolutely that the iSnack 2.0 name was anything but genuine.
Kraft spokesman Simon Talbot told The Punch the firm would never risk the Vegemite brand in this way: “You have my word on that.”
Somehow, though, this just makes it worse – did Kraft seriously think this would be anything but a disaster? If it did, then whoever OK’d it really shouldn’t be in marketing.
iSnack 2.0 will now entered the annals of branding awfulness, to be looked at and shuddered in agencies and marketing departments everywhere.
Look and learn, people. Look and learn.
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